Full Circle

Today I'm going back to god,
Back to the Moon
Back to the Stars

Away from churches, synagogues and mosques
Back to Life
Back into Dark

About 12,000 Years Ago

Roughly 12,000 years ago, at the end of the last ice age, we (human beings) began to come out of our caves to find one another. We first created small communities, and shortly after began to hunt and gather. Once that was established, we began to farm, then create granaries, then breweries. Alongside this progress towards comfort for our communities, we began to create tools, weapons, art and pottery.

This was, roughly stated, the universal order, independent of one another, of our evolution for quite some time.

Now then, why am I up on this fine, November, mind you Friday evening typing about 12,000 years ago? Why to bring you a quick story about a realization.

It all began in late August of this year, when after moving to Portland, Oregon, I came upon an awakening of my soul. This awakening came to me in the most simple of ways: while picking my own vegetables at a local farm.

With my knees firmly in my blue jeans and my blue jeans firmly embedded in the moist soil of Oregon Earth, using borrowed shears, I was cutting away at the core of the Califlower plant, which by this time was having a good laugh at me. I shrugged away the laugh, and at this precise moment, I began to have a deep desire within my now alive bossum.

I wanted to have my own garden! I wanted to grow fruits, vegetables and herbs. I wanted to cook them and eat them! I wanted to share what I cooked with friends, family, community! Ah, what a life it would be. Simple, beautiful and fulfilling, something we are missing these days and something we so desire. Yes, we deeply desire satisfaction. Oh my, the irony.

Moving on.

Back to this evening and why, I, on this lovely, November, again mind you Friday evening, am up at home writing about 12,000 years ago.

The conclusion is as follows. This evening I stayed in and up to watch a film I have wanted to see for quite a time now: God Grew Tired of Us. And tonight, alas, my farm/soul-awakening experience has compounded with the experience of breathing in the feeling and inspiration of this film. This compounding has led to more contemplation, and thus another, even deeper, realization.

You ready?

I am supposed to be an evolved being by this point. I mean, logically, I must be more evolved than 12,000 years ago, right?

Then why do I not feel a sense of the security of farm, granary, brewery? Where is my community? Why am i still running? Am I back to hunting, gathering?

Now you might be saying to yourself at this point, “What does she mean? We no longer hunt and gather.”

But don't we? Or do we hunt and gather everyday?

Or maybe some of us don't even do that anymore. Maybe some of us are simply back in our caves, waiting for the ice to melt.